Baby Smokes-A-Lot

I feel the need to quickly share the dumbest thing I've heard someone say all week.

Yesterday Cory and I were leaving our apartment building and these 2 girls who live a couple of floors below us were sitting outside, smoking cigarettes, with the one girl's nearly-newborn baby sitting with them. The baby was crying- no, SCREAMING- and the one girl was like, "Hmm...maybe he doesn't like the smell of the cigarettes."

Ya think??

Oh, Deer...

I know I've mentioned before that there are deer and foxes that roam the property where I work, but now I finally have photographic proof. Here are two deer who were hanging out yesterday as I was leaving work...the one on the left ran in front of my car...

Sorry the pictures are a little blurry...I was trying to drive and take pictures at the same time...not easy, but totally do-able.

In other news, my old roommate Thuy was in town this week. Thuy was one of my first roommates, way back when we lived in our treefort tri-plex. Our rooms were so close together, we could lay in our beds and chat, and it was as if we were sitting right next to each other. Everything in that place was miniature and all of the ceilings were slanted, so you'd smack your arms and elbows everytime you tried to put a shirt on. We could also hear everything going on in the apartments below us, and overheard quite the juicy secret or two... Anyhoo, Thuy came over for dinner and then she and I went to Wildwood. There were SOO many mosquitoes, they were ruthless!! I've never been attacked by so many at one time in my life. Then we got lost (still not sure how that happened, it's not like I don't go there all the time), and ended up finally getting out of the woods right as it was getting dark. Which I seem to remember happening the last time I went to Wildwood with Thuy, like 4 years ago. I guess whenever our brains get within a certain distance of each other, we lose all sense of direction? That's my theory. Either way, we got lots of good exercise, from the walk and from all the bug-swatting. My arms are like, totally buff now.

STOP! In the name of summer...

Cory and I went to see the Dark Knight over the weekend and it was seriously SOO GOOD!! I wish I was watching it right now...

I've always had a thing for the Batman movies but Batman Begins and now the Dark Knight are the best Batman movies ever, by far. I won't say anything more about it cause I don't wanna be a movie spoiler (like someone I know- ahem TIM), but really...you should go see it. You won't be disappointed.

This past weekend was a pretty good one. Cory was at Warped Tour for most of Friday, so I went to Bethany's and she made me dinner, which was delicious. Her daughter and I also pretended to be puppies. When Al got home, Bethany and I went to my house to wait for Cory and started our drinking a little early...and were nice and giggly by the time Cory got there to take us to Mickey's. Lucky fella.

Cory and I attempted to go to the Ann Arbor Art Fair on Saturday, but it started to rain on the way up there. So we got some food and then tried to go to Briarwood Mall...and ended up at the Art Fair, anyway. That's what we get for getting directions from teenagers. So we walked around in the rain for a bit before heading home to find out our air conditioner was broken (long story on the before and after of that one, but it involves a super big asshole of a repairman who is hopefully getting a stern talking-to today for his unnecessary rudeness). We went to see The Dark Knight, and although we were trying for the 7:45 p.m. show, all of the shows were sold out till 9:15.

After the movie, we headed out to Tim and Dani's. It was their 4 year wedding anniversary, so they had a bunch of us over. Did I mention that a newspaper took a group picture of us all during the 4th of July party there? Yup, we got to be on the front page. I've ordered a copy and am pretty excited about being a celebrity.

Everyone at Tim and Dani's was pretty sloshed, with the exception of yours truly, as I was the DD (payback for Cory driving Drunk Erin and Drunk Bethany around Friday night). The get together was a good time, with the exception of - Stuart tends to get drunk and accidentally injure me in clumsy ways. Once he dropped me from about 6 feet in the air onto a chair. This time, he was grabbing Bethany, lost his balance, and they both fell on top of me, where I sat on the floor against the hard part of the couch. Good times. He did make up for it by rolling around in sidewalk chalk in a black shirt, though. And Bethany made up for it by yelling, "STOP LIGHT!" out of a dead sleep on the way home.

Sunday was spent exactly the way every summer day should be spent- in the pool with Cory, my mom, and Lauren, followed by ice cream in the shade- paid for by Mumsy. Ahhh....

Oh, and our air conditioner was finally fixed around 8 p.m. last night. The guy (not the asshole, a different guy) tried to put it off for another day, but I insisted and volunteered Cory and Dustin to help. So, hoo-frickin'-ray and hallelujah!! I can actually cook dinner without suffocating tonight!!

It's the little things in life....

This Little Piggy Got Roasted

So, summer is officially halfway over, which means last weekend was the 18th Annual Pig Roast at Cory's dad's house in Gladwin, Michigan. And as always, it was full of good times, some bad times, debauchery, friends, douche-bags, camping, bikers, dogs, and lots and lots and lots of beer.

I'll start at the beginning. Due to a lot of people having kid- or work-related reasons for needing to be home last weekend, and a few last minute cancellations, Cory, Justin and I headed up to Gladwin on our own on Friday night. Dawn and her roommate Sarah were there, with the rest of their friends due to arrive on Saturday. Poor Nicole came up on Saturday, but not until getting lost for 2 hours- alone.

When we got there, Cory's dad was in a lot of pain. Turns out, he has bad knees and had been given cortisone injections a week before. Then, since his knees felt great after the injections, he spent the week overdoing it in order to get things ready for the Pig Roast. Then the injections wore off, and voila! Dave couldn't walk. To make a long story short, Dawn and Sarah ended up leaving at 6 a.m. to drive him to the hospital. They didn't return until Noon. Dave stayed in the hospital all weekend, leaving Cory and Dawn in charge.

We didn't realize all that goes into pulling off the Pig Roast every year, but Cory did a great job keeping up with it all, and Saturday turned out to be a big success and everyone had a great time. I have to leave out a lot of details since this is a public blog, after all, but I'm sure some of you will catch certain stories from time to time, sometime...especially regarding what, exactly, makes someone Queen or King of the Pig Roast, and how this year's Queen of the Pig Roast indirectly led to me saving the day not once, but twice.

In the meantime, here are some pictures...

Cory, trekking into the woods with a makeshift torch...

Yes, that Spongebob IS wearing a do-rag. Oh, yes, he is.

Me, Sarah, and Dawn...me wearing the sunglasses I totally wanted to steal, and even got permission to steal, but felt bad and gave them back. Mistake? Probably. I'm just saying, my face is now a tad lonely...

Cory taking a break from making a raffle happen to take a picture with his girlfriend... P.S. I won the second 50/50 raffle, without cheating or anything! Totally sweet.

A bunch of bands played...this is part of the stage in the barn...and those boys are Dawn's boyfriend and friends...that lady in the background is just for looks... And yes, the sign to her left says, "Surrender the Booty" and the one to the right says, "Preserve Wildlife, Throw a Party."

Here is the "Biggest Moth That Ever Lived, Ever", found by Tommy...then thrown into a cooler for photo purposes, and later released into the barn...

And finally, this is...well, this is a friend who is always the drunkest, and the craziest, and always gets into the funniest, oddest situations. BUT, he also has a good career and so, to protect his identity, I will call him "Henry" and black out his eyes so you can't recognize him. Here is what I call, "The Morning After", aka "WHO SENT YOU??"

Thus concludes Pig Roast 2008 Recap.

In other news, Stuart turned the big 2-6 yesterday, which means he might stop calling me "Old Lady" until- oh, I'd say, October or so.

Also, "Batman: Dark Knight" comes out this week and I'm so there.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone. :)

Fireworks and Sunsets

Sigh. Back to work after a super-fun, super-busy holiday weekend. I'd like to say I'm all rested and refreshed, but in actuality, I'm unrested and needing about 3 more weeks of time off.

Enough pouting, on to the 4th of July 2008 Picture Recap.

Our friends Tim and Dani live in downtown Maumee, and are in a primo location for all things festival/fireworks/town happenings. So everyone headed to their house on Thursday for a BBQ, classic rock cover-bands, kiddy games, and fireworks.

Here is Dani with their son Timmy, at the kiddy game tents:
Here are Stuart and Nevaeh...I actually got that cow hat for Nev, but she felt like it was beneath her and passed it on to her dad...

Bobby and Nevaeh in a playhouse...

The lovely Bethany and me, in Tim and Dani's front yard...if you look in the background, on the left, you can see Tim's ridiculously coordinated and flexible niece, walking on her hands...

Bobby and Harmony, watching fireworks...imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...

Ben, Joe P. and Cory, watching fireworks...

Cheering for the Grand Finale...

Cory, Tim, and Timmy...

Oh, and there was a giant slug- the biggest slug I've ever seen in real life- so of course, Stuart had to pick it up and almost put it in his mouth...

Here's a close-up, so you can appreciate how big this thing was...although I feel like this picture still doesn't do it justice...

Nevaeh was so grossed out by it that she yelled, "Ew, Daddy, STINKY!" and spit on the ground to accentuate her point.

On Friday morning, Cory and I realized it was a gorgeous day and decided it would be a good time to finally get our bikes from his mom's house. She came and picked us up and drove us to her house, and we rode our bikes back to our apartment, stopping to explore a cemetery along the way. I liked how this one lonely tree was all on its own in the middle of the cemetery...

Later that day, there was a big neighborhood party in my parent's neighborhood, filled with tons of food, fireworks, friends, and beer. Here are Kyle and Sara at sunset after a frisbee competition was cut short by someone parking in the throw zone...

Here is what the sunset looks like every night from my parent's front yard...

There were impressive firework displays being set off in four different places in our small neighborhood all night, but the neighbors we were all partying with had the most. Once the rest of the neighbors ran out of fireworks, they sat back and cheered for ours. And here is Lauren, trying to get pictures with fireworks behind her...

Bobby, me, and Bethany, drinking beers in the street...

Someone brought over a very pretty Great Dane, and sometime towards the end of the night, someone gave him/her a beer can collar...

And then Bethany tried to ride the dog. Which I totally don't blame her for, cause this dog is seriously the size of a pony. And Bethany is small enough for a pony.

The neighborhood party was a huge success and also kind of a blur at the end...I remember Cory wanting to set up a tent in my parent's backyard and camp out, and totally agreeing at first, only to decide I was too drunk to deal with such a seemingly big undertaking and begging Jason to drive us home. Then I think I tricked Cory into getting into Jason's car, then felt bad about backing out of the tent thing, so when we got home and Cory still wanted to sleep in a tent, we decided that the only compromise was to set up a tent in the living room and sleep in it. And we did. Then we played Tetris Evolution (from the tent), which I was still surprisingly good at, despite not being able to focus on the screen. Then we went to sleep in our tent, only to wake up the next morning and wonder where the hell we were. I had a giant hangover when I woke up and felt like I was made entirely of beer.

I was just finally getting over the hangover, after a day of relaxing and dinner with Cory and Dustin, when it was time to go to a party at Mike and Stephanie's. Bobby and Dustin both came with us and Mike an Steph had their Wii set up on the lawn with a projector projecting it onto a screen, and there were Jager bombs and Jello shots and good, good times. It was a bit chilly (I had on a dress, sweatpants, and a sweater- super stylish, I know), which you need to know for the next picture.

Here is Dustin fulfilling a Double Dog Dare, aka the Most Serious Dare of Them All:

Cory, Dustin, and Bobby left to pick up our friend Justin and play XBox 360, and I stayed to drink more and chitchat more and be peer-pressured into too many Jello shots. Cory was a doll and came to pick me up around 3:30 a.m.

The next day, Holly, her son Johnny, and I FINALLY went to the zoo! We've been planning this for weeks, and scheduling conflicts, work, and Johnny being sick all kept getting in the way. Finally the stars aligned and off to the zoo we went...

It was a really good day for the zoo- it seemed like all of the animals were hanging out right by the glass/fences and right where you could see them up close and personal. So close and personal, Johnny ran away more than once, thinking they were gonna get him. We could hear the sloth bear breathing, and more than one gorilla swung on a vine right towards the glass, which really made Johnny run.

Here are Holly and Johnny in the petting zoo... By the way, Holly is due in November and finds out what she's having on the 21st of this month... :)

Here's Johnny with his alligator in the Carnivore Cafe, which used to be the lion and tiger cages, way back when...

And here's Johnny and the fake gorillas...we seriously had to drag him away from these, screaming and crying...he was clinging to the butt of the gorilla you can kind of see on the right, which made a bunch of people passing by laugh pretty hard...

Our day at the zoo was such a good time, and I don't get to see Holly nearly enough, so that made it even better. And Johnny is such a cutie, and as Holly put it, "ornery", which always makes me laugh. Even when he looked me straight in the eye and dumped water all over my legs.

After the zoo, Cory, Bobby, Justin, and I went to Taco Sunday, which we haven't done since we lived at Underwood, then we met up with Dustin and some of his friends out in the country. Then Cory and I went home and just relaxed and enjoyed each other's company for the rest of the night, which was much-needed.

Here ends our Tour of 4th of July Weekend, 2008. I hope you enjoied the tour and kept your arms and legs inside the tour at all times and stayed seated until the tour came to a complete stop.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I've spent the week with the intention of posting a blog about last weekend, complete with an overabundance of pictures, but then my camera battery died, so I couldn't upload the pictures. Then I kept forgetting to charge the battery. Then I remembered last night, but forgot to grab my camera off of the charger on my way out the door this morning. But I did remember my milk! Yeah!

Anyhoo. I've decided since I won't be at work again until Monday and will by then have a new crop of pictures and stories, I will just tell you about my weekend without the pictures, and let everyone use their imaginations to picture what it looked like.

Friday night, my mom conned me into going with her and her neighbor Judy to watch the Bedford fireworks. And by "conned", I mean she called me, e-mailed me, and asked me in person to go to the fireworks for about 2 weeks beforehand. Then we got there, and the fireworks had been cancelled. And in typical Bedford fashion, they did not inform anyone, nor did they put a sign up to let people know. So there were tons of people there, all passing the cancellation news along by word of mouth. The guy we talked to was already drunk, so at least his day wasn't all disappointment.

Since there were no fireworks, the three of us decided to go out for drinks. My parents have lived in the same neighborhood for 25 years now, and Judy (and her hilarious husband John) has been their neighbor for all of those 25 years. So over drinks, the three of us reminisced and swapped ridiculous and ridiculously funny neighborhood stories. Including two of the three times my best friend Holly's house caught on fire, the time a friend of Judy's son passed out in the wrong house, lots of antics of the people who live across the street from my parents, and different parties in the neighborhood that went awry, one way or another. Good times. I will definitely share some of those stories one day soon...and I'm really glad we ended up at the bar and not at the fireworks, cause it was a helluva good time.

On Saturday, I went shopping with Cory's sister, Dawn, and came home with a supply of lotion from the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale to last me at least until the next Semi-Annual Sale, if not till the next-next Semi-Annual. Dawn's boyfriend Scott also came to town on Saturday, so the four of us went to see "Get Smart" and ended up running into our awesome neighbors (and my favorite ice cream scoopers), Amy and Buck. "Get Smart" was SOOO good, I recommend it very highly. It was very funny, well done, and who doesn't love Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway? After the movie, I picked up Bobby and then Stuart and Sara both came over, and we all drank beers and played drinking games. P.S. Stuart's cast, which was supposed to come off twice now, is now bigger than ever and all the way past his elbow. Everytime I look at him, I want to bend and stretch my arms. Cause he can't.

On Sunday, Cory and I went to church and there was a bunch of food cause it was one of the pastor's last day. While we were snacking on the food, we ran into an old friend of mine from high school, Alicia, and ended up catching up with her and missing most of the service. But Alicia is SUCH a sweetheart, it was really nice to sit and chat with her. Afterwards, I went to a graduation party with my mom for my godmother's daughter. They live way out in the country and on the way home, we saw a bunch of buzzards eating road kill. Buzzards have giant, pokey beaks and beady eyes and one of them made eye contact with me, so I made Lauren swear that if I ever die in a field, she will make sure my body gets cleaned up before buzzards can get me.

Anyhoo. The party was fun and I can't believe how grown up my godmother's daughters are! It's crazy. After the grad party, I grabbed Cory and Bobby and we went to my parent's for a Kyle Birthday BBQ. Stu and Nev also came over, and Nev and I invented a new game called "Boat Ride!!" This consists of sitting in my dad's canoe, in the grass, and pretending to paddle, with me shaking the canoe every once in awhile to simulate waves, while Nevaeh yells, "BOAT RIDE!! BOAT RIDE!!"

So that was my weekend. It was very good times and I'll probably eventually post a couple of the pictures, cause the ones of Nev and Lauren in the canoe are just adorable. Even if Lauren does blame herself for Nev falling in the canoe, because she chose to eat a cheeseburger rather than catch her. But really, it happened so suddenly, and Nev got right back in the boat, so no harm, no foul.

Last night while Cory and I were at the movie theater in Maumee, the tornado warning siren went off. All of these people went running out of the theater, but Cory and I kept watching the movie. The theater teenagers came in and told us there was no immediate danger so they would keep the movie running, and would let us know if the weather got worse. We could hear the torrential rain on the roof for the rest of the time we were there, which made me really anxious because Toledo tends to flood. A lot. After the movie, we found Bobby and Dustin and drove home, and made it almost home when all of a sudden, we were in the middle of what could only be described as a large pond. In the middle of Alexis Road. We managed to get through it, without my catalytic convertor falling off (which is amazing, cause it's really just hanging on by a thread and I thought FOR SURE it was a goner), but today, I realized my headlight, which I just replaced about a month ago, is out. Stupid water.

Joke's on the headlight, though, cause it'll have to get the fuck in line behind all of the other things wrong with my car. So THERE!

I'm hoping the rain stays away today cause there's a BBQ at Tim and Dani's today, and you can see the Maumee fireworks from their front yard, so we're supposed to do that, too. Then tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the zoo with Holly and her son Johnny, then later is the Annual Neighborhood Party in my parent's neighborhood, then Saturday is supposed to be a big outdoor party at Mike and Stephanie's. So if the rain could hold out till at least Sunday, if not Monday, that'd be great. Thanks.

Happy 4th of July, everybody!!