Smarch

Now that March is behind us, I would like to share with you my Top Three Smoothest March Moments. I'll share the moments in chronological order, cause I'm not sure if I could arrange them by order of Smoothness.

1- For Christmas this year, I received quite a few books, some used and some brand-spanking new. And shiny. And oh-so-pretty. Those of you who know me well, know how much I love brand new, shiny books. Yes, I'm a big nerd. Anyway. I've been making my way through this bounty of books, and got around to reading one of the brand new ones. I had it sitting in the bathroom on the back of the toilet. Cory had been drinking one night and used the toilet without flushing it, then promptly passed out. I walked into the bathroom and that's right- knocked the book right into the toilet! It was like it was in slow motion, but I couldn't stop it. So now I have a brand new, shiny, pee-soaked book. I can't finish reading it now. I won't. I just can't touch pee. Sorry for the waste of money, Mom, but it's going in the trash. The thing is, I've never knocked a book into a toilet before. Why then? Why that night? Sigh.

2- Last Saturday, I woke up nice and hungover due to a Friday night that started out visiting with my friend Amy, who was in town from Vegas, over margaritas at El Camino, and ended up at Bethany's with me drunk dialing my baby sister. And drunk texting her. Fun for Kyle, I'm sure. Anyhoo. Cory, Bobby and I went out to breakfast on Saturday morning, which I barely made it through, and I then begged Bobby to take me back home so I could nap. Bobby and Cory dropped me off and left for the library. I then realized I didn't have my keys and they were, in fact, in the back seat of Bobby's car. I tried waving them down, but it was too late. So I was stuck in my apartment parking lot, with no keys, and no way to get ahold of the boys because Cory didn't have his phone with him and Bobby's was dead. I ended up calling my mom and having her drive me to the library to rescue my keys. A pleasant nap ensued.

3- Last night. I took most of my work shirts and pants to Cory's mom's to be washed (the one drawback to us moving out of the Underwood house- we no longer have our own washing machine) and I only had one clean shirt with matching pants left in my closet. It needed to be ironed, and I was tired. So I decided to be as fast about it as possible. Normally I put a towel down and the shirt on the towel, and iron away. But suddenly last night, this made no sense to me and I thought, "Eh, screw the towel, I'll just iron it on the floor and get this over with." Worked fine for a little while, until I went to move the shirt to iron the other half. And realized it was stuck to the carpet. Our brand new carpet. Oh, that's right. I ironed my shirt into the carpet. Heated up the carpet so much that my shirt was now stuck to it, like an iron-on decal. I managed to un-stick my shirt but there was brown carpet stuck to it (oh, it's light yellow, by the way) and there is now a hard burn mark in the carpet that I'm really hoping Cory and whoever checks out our apartment upon move-out don't notice. I did manage to get most of the carpet off my shirt, though, so I'm wearing it now. Lesson: Seems there was a reason behind ironing on a towel all along.

Hope everyone's having a lovely April Fool's Day! I didn't wear a coat today, so as far as I'm concerned, today is a GOOD day!